Dating anxiety is a real thing, and it’s difficult to navigate in the Tinder Age where you’re just one swipe away from someone who might be a better match. Whether you’ve been single for ten years, or getting back into the dating scene, we’ve all dealt with varying levels of anxiety around dating.
But what do you do when that anxiety starts getting in the way of actually enjoying the process?
That’s where I’m at.
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It’s there, you can feel it in your body, even if it’s faint. That feeling tugs at you, in an annoying nagging way, and hopes that you’ll listen. It hopes you recognize that those butterflies in your stomach are actually warnings.
But you second guess yourself, and decide to pursue them anyway, because perhaps those butterflies are actually love’s beginnings.
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I’ve always found the idea of having a “love wish list” kind of ineffective, silly and a little shallow.
My perception of a love list included people crafting ridiculous lists of deal breakers or deal makers for their future, potential partners to be evaluated on in order to even be considered for a first date.
I don’t date nice guys. In fact, I have a tendency to date d-bags.
I’m that girl who claims “He’s just too nice.”
I’m that girl who says “I just feel like I could walk all over him.”
I’m that girl who thinks “He couldn’t handle me.”
And I’m kind of over it.
For the last 12 years, I’ve been inexplicably drawn to the guys that are all types of wrong for me.
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Lately, the words “I’m lonely” seem to be on this quiet murmuring track in the back of my brain anytime distractions subside and the fog re-emerges.
I’m lonely. It whispers. My heart beats and it sounds again. I’m lonely
I catch the thought and try to shake it away, and focus on the present, but it comes back into the rhythmic reminder that something is missing.
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