Hi, and welcome to The Bare, a blog that dives deep into adulting topics that we all like to avoid. Like mental health.
Dating with baggage and dealing with relationships.
Body image and anxiety and depression and loneliness and feeling like you don’t belong.
You know. Normal, everyday, tough shit.
Who is Clo Bare?
I’m Chloé, also known as Clo Bare. I’m a writer, reader, lover of tough love, and pursuer of personal growth and self-development. By day I work as a communications and marketing consultant. By night, when I’m not hacking at the never-ending to-do list that is adulting, I work on this blog, go to therapy, cook, and spend time with my favorite humans out and about in Chicago.
Another important thing about me: I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety for most of my life. Couple that with eating disorders and most recently PTSD, I’ve had to learn how to manage my mental health so it wouldn’t take over my life.
And for the most part?
I’ve been handling my business pretty well, and this blog has been a huge part in my healing. I still have my days where my struggle is real, but the lows get higher and the highs get higher too.
Managing mental health takes work, but it gets easier the more you do it.
Why I Started The Bare Blog?
Have you ever felt like you have no purpose? Or that the life you’re supposed to be grateful for and living to the fullest is just slipping away as you let it? That you’re wasting your time on this earth without any idea of what to do to turn it around?
Or maybe you’ve felt paralyzed by your own situation and the choices in front of you all seem impossible to make? Have you ever felt like something is wrong down to the core but you don’t know what it is or how to change it?
Yeah? Me too.
I founded this blog back in September 2017 as a way to instill some purpose and meaning back into my life. At the time, I didn’t know that was what I was doing. I just knew something needed to change and I had an aching desire to blog despite not knowing what to write about.
I founded this blog when those feelings were the strongest for me. Back where my confusion, anger, frustration and lack of meaning in my life was at its peak.
So one day I said fuck it, and I wrote. You can read my first post here: My First Therapy Appointment is Tomorrow
Turns out, I had a lot to say. Little did I know that the parts that I struggle with most would be the topics I’d feel most driven to write about.
What’s The Bare?
The Bare, is a place where I air out the nuances of adulting.
I share all the stuff you’re not supposed to share on the internet:
- Dating with baggage
- EMDR therapy
- Feeling unlovable
- Spending money
- Financial goals
- Feeling like I don’t belong
- Horrible fuck-ups with no one to blame but myself
- How I’m trying to fix all the broken parts of myself by owning my own shit and dealing with it head on
Why Write About the Tough Stuff?
You’re probably wondering, WHY? Why would I share what might be deemed as the anti-highlight reel? Who would want to talk about stuff that is the kind of stuff that should be buried deep into the dark depths of our soul only to be talked about with ourselves in the middle of the night as we try desperately to fall asleep but can’t help but wonder about the endless black hole of suffering that is this LIFE sometimes?
Ok, a little dramatic, but I think you get my drift.
I write about it because I think we don’t talk about these things enough. And by not talking about these things, we isolate ourselves. We think that no one understands us. We wonder why we’re so weird and different and broken.
But you know what?
When we talk about the shit that keeps us up at night, we realize we aren’t alone. Lots and lots of people are up at night worrying about exactly the same things.
Side Tangent: Let’s Talk About Isolation for a Moment
In a world where we spend more time with our head in a screen with a virtual world that doesn’t love us back, isolation is a massive issue.
We rely less and less on each other and more and more on technology without realizing why that the empty hole of disconnect and isolation we feel isn’t going away. Instead of finding real ways to connect with people, we find ways to make it “look” like we are living our best lives by posting carefully curated and filtered photos of ourselves on the web.
We smile and make our boyfriends take photos until they catch us in our fake mid-laugh; pay $40 for a 20-minute exhibit designed to be an Instagram photo opportunity where you take fake photos of your fake fun but it’s sold to us as an “art museum experience”; go out to fancy bars and restaurants just for the opportunity to post it online.
We do it all for the gram.
It’s no wonder we are a society plagued by a feeling of emptiness and lack of purpose. Culturally, we spend billions of dollars in our society to post something on Instagram to show how great we are doing even though on the inside, we aren’t doing great.
We’re sad, lonely, and anxious. But we look great doing it!
But no worries. Because there are businesses everywhere ready to sell us the commercialized “solutions” for self-care. They cost us more money and promise to get rid of all the feels we feel… Like feminist underwear! Or aromatherapy infused booze! That’s the solution, right?
At least not for me.
Let’s be honest. I don’t have all the solutions, but I’m figuring it out. Trying to be honest with myself and do the hard work towards true self-care. I’m still guilty of buying into the culture that wants us to buy our way to a happy life including commercialized self-care and personal development. But after years of experimentation, I’m learning we need to learn how to feel the feels, deal with them, and stop buying into things that provide only symptom relief from the uncomfortable feelings we feel.
How’s that for a rant?
Why I Share My Struggles
This is why I write.
I share my struggles and learn from it. I share what real and tough self-care is for me. And I call out my own bullshit, while also going on some side tangent rants about the state of our world while simultaneously being human and guilty of buying into it too sometimes.
I share the tough stuff because I want others struggling to know they aren’t alone in a world of perfect feeds and curated smiles.
Sometimes I write about things that I don’t understand so that I can start to understand why I do things.
And sometimes I write because it helps me to understand myself and the struggles I face.
I’m always learning, and this blog holds me accountable for my own shit and motivates me to keep going especially when sharing my journey helps other people.
On to Some Blog Posts
Now, if that all sounds good to you and you’re thinking “HELL YEAH GIVE ME YOUR VULNERABILITIES and TRYING-TO-BE-HONEST WITH YOURSELF REALIZATIONS!”… Read on.
- Destructive Relationship Patterns to Avoid (Part One): Dating Anxiety
- Destructive Relationship Patterns to Avoid (Part Two): Savior Complex
- Destructive Relationship Patterns to Avoid (Part Three): Dating the Wrong Men
- Destructive Relationship Patterns to Avoid (Part Five): Ignoring Relationship Red Flags
- Destructive Relationship Patterns to Avoid (Part Six): Fear of Abandonment
- Destructive Relationship Patterns to Avoid (Part Seven): How to Start Dating Again
- Self-Proclaimed Nice Guys and Other D-Bags to Avoid
- Why I Don’t Date Nice Guys
- Sex & Secrets: I am Part of the Problem
- 6 Foolproof Ways to Overcome Dating Anxiety
- Love Wish List: What Dating Deal Breakers Really Mean
- Trust Issues and Tinder
- 13 Ways the Liars, Gas-lighters and Cheats Show You Who They Are
- Compromising in Relationships: The Parts I Always Lose
- We Broke Up and It’s Okay
- Me, My Eating Disorders, and this Red Dress
- The Truth Behind this Photo
- Fuck Flattering Friday
- How to Stay Body Positive When it Feels Impossible
- I am $67,866 in Debt
- Budgeting Bare: October 2018 Spending Report
- 8 Binge-Worthy Personal Finance Podcasts and Blogs
- How to Create a Budget
- One Year of Budgeting Review! Plus Summer Spending Reports
- My First Therapy Appointment is Tomorrow
- How I Didn’t Get Better
- Loneliness and Other Feelings I Avoid
- 30 Easy and Free Ways to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed
- Why I Get Terrible Sleep: 4 Tactics for Tackling Sleep Hygiene
- What is EMDR? My First EMDR Experience
- Trust, Trauma and the Powers of EMDR
- What Happens When PTSD Comes Back to Haunt You?
- Anxiety Sucks
- Panic Attacks: Self-Care During the Holidays
- 8 Reminders for the Anxiety-Ridden and Overwhelmed
- New Year’s Reflection: What the F*ck Happened to 2019?
- How to Use the Enneagram for Powerful (and Shocking) Self-Discovery
- 21 Daily Reminders & Affirmations that Don’t Suck
- Real Self-Care: How to Be a Better Person in 5 Simple Steps
- 5 Life-Changing Books Every Woman Should Read in 2019
- Extroverted Introvert: Battling Loneliness While Traveling Alone
- What to Do When You’re Afraid of What You Truly Want
- From Unhappy to Rediscovery: How My Life Has Changed in a Year
Where to Find Clo Bare
I’m all over the interwebs and pretty active on Instagram. Feel free to connect with me on the following places! I always respond, and love hearing from my fellow Bares.
Other Places You Can Find Me
Radical Self-Love Collective: How to Stay Body Positive