I have never been a good sleeper and my sleep hygiene habits are dismal at best. It runs in the family. My little brother is a terrible sleeper, my mom is as well, and from the time that I was a baby, I’ve always had trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. My mom would often come in to check on my crib in the middle of the night only to find me wide awake but smiling and happy to see her.
Little has changed in the last 28 years. I take a minimum of two hours to fall asleep once I’m in bed, and I wake up multiple times in an evening to pee or stare off into the darkness and wonder about the meaning of life. I’m a light sleeper as well, with the slightest movement or sound waking me. On average, I get about 5-6 hours of sleep a night.
I’ve been overwhelmed for a few weeks. That’s no secret. I’ve been burning the candle at both ends. Balancing more than I can carry. And quite frankly, I popped a little, in a controlled kind of way.
All this anxiety and overwhelm and feeling buried under a mountain of feels and annoying habits that make me avoid the feels– I’ve finally had enough. It’s time to deal, recognize and change what might be making me more anxious and overwhelmed than I need to be.
Life changes sometimes overwhelm me, and lately life changes are more common than things staying the same. In truth, I don’t handle anxiety and overwhelm all that well and I can be kind of prone to it. Usually I get really angry and annoyed. I get fed up with tiny things and my patience runs thin and my sensitivity to bullshit amps up. Other times I shut down completely regardless of whether or not that is the appropriate response.
Basically, anxiety and overwhelm do great at turning me into someone I’d rather not be.
As many of you know, last year I started EMDR therapy to treat my PTSD. When my therapist introduced me to EMDR, I was very skeptical. Despite years of therapy and trying everything, I had never heard of it. Surely if something worked on complex PTSD the way that EMDR supposedly did, everyone would know about it, right?
Well, not necessarily.
EMDR absolutely transformed my life. It is the most effective form of therapy I have ever tried. And that’s coming from someone who’s tried just about everything: talk therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), mindfulness, decluttering, float therapy, and various medications, to name a few.
Which is why I wanted to do a post on it.
Dating anxiety is a real thing, and it’s difficult to navigate in the Tinder Age where you’re just one swipe away from someone who might be a better match. Whether you’ve been single for ten years, or getting back into the dating scene, we’ve all dealt with varying levels of anxiety around dating.
But what do you do when that anxiety starts getting in the way of actually enjoying the process?
That’s where I’m at.