In one of my most recent posts “How to Be a Better Person Through Real Self-Care“, I talk a little about how affirmations need to be part of my real self-care routine. In truth, I haven’t been doing affirmations or even little daily reminders all that much. Why? Well, in part I think it’s because I still find affirmations a little corny but also because I don’t understand fully how to do them so they work and mean something to me.
While I haven’t fully embraced the wonderful world of affirmations, I do talk to myself all day. And sometimes when I talk to myself, I’m not saying the nicest shit. In fact, sometimes I’m pretty awful and terrible in my head, and that’s not something I want to keep doing.
From what I’ve heard, affirmations can be helpful in rewiring the brain, changing thought patterns and getting rid of all the negative junk that serves no one, my self included. In order to benefit from the so-called magic of affirmations, I need to first figure out some affirmations and daily reminders that really work for me.
Enter: this post.
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In this post, I talk a little about my experience with affirmations, the difference between daily reminders and affirmations, why I want to do them more, and the affirmations and daily reminders I plan to start using.
My Relationship With Affirmations
I haven’t always been a big fan of affirmations. In fact, I still kind of cringe every time I hear a self-help guru talk about the importance of affirmations. It seems like a load of baloney from an outsider’s perspective, but when I started this journey, I noticed that doing affirmations is a recommended technique for almost EVERY self-help guru out there.
Like, everyone. Even the self-help guru’s I like. Which are few and far between.
Like Jen Sincero:
“Figure out which affirmations you need to hear the most and repeat them all day long in your head, in the car, while you’re walking down the street pretending to be on the phone, under your breathe in line at the DMV. Write them on Post-it notes and stick them around your house, on your mirrors, in your refrigerator, in your car. Write down your favorite affirmations ten times every morning and ten times every night before you go to bed and say them out loud. Here”― Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness– it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.”Brené Brown
And the guy from “Unf*ck Yourself”:
“In simple terms, the language you use to describe your circumstances determines how you see, experience, and participate in them and dramatically affects how you deal with your life and confront problems both big and small.”Gary John Bishop, Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life
What I notice about the quotes I’ve shared with you above is it’s less about telling yourself fluffy things to make yourself BELIEVE the fluffy things– instead affirmations seem to be more about changing how you talk to yourself.
Once you start talking to yourself with affirmations in a less hateful or judging way, it’s easier to start doing that automatically so the bad thoughts become fewer while the good thoughts start multiplying.
Easy enough, right?
So I decided to give it a go. Because ultimately, what do I have to lose?
Why I’ve Decided to Give it a Shot
The reason I think it’s time for me to give affirmations a serious chance this time around is because what I say to myself matters. I can choose to keep beating myself up in my brain or I can choose to start feeding myself thoughts that are actually helpful. That’s the two options. That’s it!
Plus in my very minimal experience with affirmations, they friggin’ work. I keep thinking about the time when affirmations were the only thing that could calm me down when I had a total anxiety attack.
A Wee Anxiety Attack
In my VERY FIRST Clo Bare post, I wrote about this breakdown. You can read the post, but in short, I had an anxiety attack that forced me to leave the gym in tears and left me unable to drive. The overwhelm and disgust I felt for my body after seeing myself in the mirror tipped over the iceberg of self-hatred and feelings of worthlessness, and I ceased to function. Thoughts of “you’re a failure“, “why are you trying“, “you’re disgusting and a total joke“, “gain some FUCKING control you blob,” cut into me like bits of shattered glass poking out from the broken parts of my brain.
For me, it’s the first time I ever remember gaining control simply by out-thinking my negative attacking thoughts.
And it made me realize just how important what I say to myself matters.
The Difference Between Affirming Thoughts and Daily Reminders
When I first started writing this post, I thought that affirmations and daily reminders could be the same thing, but the more I dive deeper into this topic I’m realizing they are very different.
And that’s okay.
In my head they seemed the same because after all I have to remember to do my affirmations and so my affirmations are daily reminders of who I am and what I value. But daily reminders aren’t always affirmations. Daily reminders are a little more actionable while affirmations are a little more thought oriented.
I think both are important for different reasons which is why I’m going to include both in my list below.
Clo Bare’s Daily Reminders and Affirmations
1. I am enough, exactly as I am, right now.
3. I can actually do anything that I put my energy, desire and effort to, but I don’t have to do everything that I can do.
4. I don’t need to give attention to EVERYTHING. Everything is not deserving of my focus. Focus on less so I can be present for more.
5. PUT YOUR GODDAMN PHONE DOWN FOR FUCK’S SAKE. I promise you’ll feel better the less you use it.
6. I don’t have to do it all right now. It’s not possible to do everything all at once. I have to enjoy the process too and I can’t be everything to everyone.
7. You are here right now, and you matter. I am here right now, and I matter.
8. Change does not happen by thinking. It happens by doing.
9. Money cannot replace emotion. It can’t buy you anything permanent. Stop spending so much money, FFS.
10. I’m so fucking proud of you.
11. Take notes of the little stuff to remember the good stuff that I’ll otherwise forget.
12. Say “thank you” more. Show gratitude.
13. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN FOR GOD’S SAKE. Are you trying to rush to death? When will the rushing stop? SLOW DOWN AND BE HERE. RIGHT NOW.
14. My tendencies are not my friends.
15. Be careful of my ego, dignity and pride. They are rarely my friends either. As it turns out, it is only the ego that suffers when I fail.
16. Stop apologizing. Stop apologizing for doing a good job. No more apologizing for saying what I think or for taking up space. Stop apologizing for the art I put into the world.
17. Allow myself to be seen but remember that I am not on this Earth to impress. I’m just here. Enjoy it.
18. Done is always better than perfect and never finished.
20. No one cares what I’m doing. Use that as freedom to do whatever the fuck you want.
21. People are going to dislike me no matter what I say or do. So don’t let what other people think influence anything I do. The thing is, people will love me no matter what I say or do too. Focus on those people.
Got any favorite affirmations or daily reminders? As a new curator of affirmations, I’d love your suggestions. Do a gal a solid and drop them in the comments below!