Exhausted. I am completely drained this week.
I think my body is finally catching up with me, after spending a week in Toronto for work.
When you’re spending 14-16 hours a day being “on”, self-care can quickly fly out the window as it did for me. I feel like I could bury myself for the winter, and still feel tired when I emerged in the spring.
Luckily, vacation is coming this Friday, and I couldn’t be more ready and excited to escape for a week. I plan to turn off my cell phone, bring my journal, and hideaway from the world to rebuild and reenergize myself.
Now that I have fallen off the wagon of self-care and self-loving behaviors, it’s time to get back on with a free week ahead.
How do I rescue myself so that I can have a better attitude, and get back to being a better and happier version of myself?
I go back to one of the things that inspired and helped me to make a change in the first place.
Enter, Jen Sincero’s “You’re a Badass”.
Jen Sincero’s book, as I’ve mentioned in a previous post, has been hugely helpful in kicking my attitude into a better place.
One of my all-time favorite quotes from her book is, “When we’re happy and all in love with ourselves, we can’t be bothered by the bullshit (our own or other people’s).”
I LOVE THAT STATEMENT because it is so true.
People who get pissed and frustrated and annoyed with the everyday nuisances, myself included, aren’t exactly flaming examples of self-love and happiness.
My temper is the shortest and my patience is nonexistent when I am exhausted, stressed, or unhappy. But doesn’t self-love seem like an ever-evasive unicorn?
It’s exciting to think about, and we love the idea of experiencing it, but very few people have any advice on how to actually achieve it.
And that’s what I love about Jen’s book.
In her book, she gives real, actionable advice for self-improvement.
It’s not abstract as in “love yourself” or “think more positively” or “envision your true self”–she has concrete ways of accomplishing those ideas.
If it were as easy as thinking more positively, wouldn’t we all be on cloud nine with our lives?
Being your best self and being all in love with yourself takes some work, and her book is filled with ways to achieve that unicorn of self-love, in a simple and straightforward format.
I need those reminders constantly, and I will keep repeating them until they are burned into my being.
Here are some of the things I’m reminding myself of as I enter into a week of rebooting.
1. Appreciate how special you are.
I choose to believe this, as corny as it is.
Yes, I’ve heard the counter argument and have even been a believer in, “Well if I’m special, and he’s special, and she’s special… doesn’t that make us all not special?”
No, because you are not all special in the same way.
Your story is made up of all the emotions you’ve felt, the experiences you’ve lived, the crap you’ve dealt with, and all the meaningful little moments that could never be replicated.
No one else has those same sets of experiences. There will never be anyone exactly like you. Appreciate that, and don’t waste your time trying to be someone you aren’t.
I struggle with that.
Even when deciding whether or not to start this blog, I kept thinking—man, I don’t have anything to say that no one else has said before.
At the same time though, no one has ever said it all from my perspective before, and my perspective is just as valid as the 400,000 other blogs that discuss the same topics.
At the end of the day, we can believe we are special or we can believe we aren’t.
It’s a choice. But isn’t it so much more enjoyable to spend your day believing that you’re awesome?
Not in a delusional, I’m the next prophet sort of way, but maybe in a way that lights your fire and makes you the best you.
2. Drown yourself in affirmations.
In all the self-help books I’ve read, this is a pretty common theme.
Tell yourself you’re amazing and awesome and capable of all things, and eventually you’ll start believing it.
Affirmations help rewire your brain to think differently, so in terms of battling negativity, depression and anxiety—this is exactly what I’m looking for. I’m getting a little bit better each day, and even start my car ride into work repeating some of my newfound favorites.
I don’t sweat the small stuff.
Today I am in charge of how I feel, and today I am choosing happiness.
I can achieve whatever I want. Everything is possible. I can do all the things.
Today I release my need to compare myself to others.
I love myself completely.
Everyday I am calm in the face of conflict.
Only I can provide affirmation and validation to myself from within myself. I do not need outside validation.
I am enough.
Honestly, I can’t tell if it’s working yet, but it’s definitely making it easier to find a replacement for all my bad, self-critical thoughts. Which leads me to…
3. Find a replacement.
This has been a game changer for me.
I have gotten really used to my negative knee-jerk reactions– looking into the mirror and thinking “Yikes!”; lying in bed telling myself I can’t sleep; getting an assignment at work and believing I can’t do it.
What we tell ourselves is what we believe, and I tell myself some pretty horrible things sometimes.
This shows up for me a lot when it comes to my health, appearance and fitness.
For example, last week, I really, really struggled with feeling gross about myself and how I looked. Every time I’d pass a mirror the words “gross”, “fat”, “bloated”, passed through my brain as I’d re-adjust my posture to try and appear thinner and less bloated.
I’d rub my hands constantly under my double chin, and readjust my Spanx so that the line across my belly button didn’t show. Every encounter with a mirror meant disappointment and we all know that there are mirrors literally everywhere you turn at fancy hotels.
This week that feeling has carried over, and even gotten worse because I’ve been sick.
I haven’t been going to yoga or eating well, so this huge amount of guilt has wrapped its arms around me, as my inner critic whispers, “Don’t skip yoga again tonight. A real yogi would go. You’re not that sick. You didn’t work out at all last week, and you ate tons of candy and carbs—if you don’t start getting your act together you’ll gain all the weight and no one will like you.”
What if I didn’t think those horrible things about myself?
How about…What if I didn’t insult myself every time I checked myself out in the mirror?
Or… What if I could find a replacement for those thoughts?
I think I could be a lot happier a person with even that small change.
Luckily, I was texting one of my best friends this morning. She deals with a lot of the same issues, especially this feeling of guilt over a missed workout. Here’s what she said:
“I’m sorry you’re feeling like that. I hate that feeling. But the rational part of me knows, and will reiterate to you, that time off from exercising means we’re doing other productive shit that is probably required by work, or involves spending time with the people we love, or improving ourselves somehow. So really, it’s time just as well spent. It’s not like our metabolism just stops when we’re not “working out.” Some people don’t work out or exercise EVER other than the everyday walking. You’re totally good!”
I am infinitely blessed to have her in my life.
This was like a switch in my brain, and the guilt of not working out tonight dissolved.
It is time well spent to not work out sometimes.
I am sick.
Ultimately, I need to rest.
I need to recover.
Screw all the other thoughts that are telling me I should be doing anything else.
It’s really that simple:
Original thought: I am gross and need to work out since I haven’t worked out in over a week.
Replacement thought: I am spending my time resting so that I can better enjoy the long awaited vacation that will help rejuvenate my spirit and spark up my good feelings.
Original thought: You’re gross, fat and bloated.
Replacement thought: You’re a total babe. Beauty standards are false. You’re a shiny unicorn.
So that’s it! It isn’t brain science.
It is, however, mind manipulation.
Tonight, I’m going to rest up with those two in the photo above, maybe clean a little, and go to bed early so that tomorrow I feel better!
I would of course, love to hear from you. What are some of the things you do to reboot your brain when you’re down right exhausted and unmotivated? Do you have any affirmations that really pump you up? What thoughts are you working on replacing?